Elizabeth Sloan - Marriage & Family Therapist
  
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Books: Personal Background (How the past affects the present)

cover   Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples

When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends." As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship." Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support."

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cover   Couples Companion: Meditations

A companion volume to Getting the Love You Want, this book offers daily meditations and brief "food for thought" passages that bring the positive power of Hendrix's approach into your relationship every day. Each of the 365 entries can help you cultivate the conscious relationship you desire and motivate the attitudinal changes that make a relationship last as you: 1.) discover why you chose your mate, 2.) resolve power struggles that are barriers to greater intimacy, 3.) Learn to listen--really listen--to your partner, 4.) restore the wholeness of self through daily reflection, 5.) increase fun and laughter in your relationship, 6.) achieve a common vision of your ideal relationship, 7.) begin the inner healing that can lead to personal transformation for you and your partner, and 8.) become "passionate friends" with your partner. The Couples Companion can be a gentle reminder that every single day, there is something you can do to improve your relationship.

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